In the last piece in this series on pornographies I wrote about the shape of the Christian conversation on pornographies and considered how it needs to be broadened. Today I thought I’d create a handy “de-euphemism-iser” so that when you read Christian articles about the spectrum of pornographies you can translate them and understand what they’re actually saying.
I was discussing the idea behind this post with a very wise friend who worked for many years as a counsellor. She said that when counselling people who had suicide ideation and those engaged or thinking about taken drastic action that would damage themselves or others it was very important to de-euphemism-ise the actions they wanted to take. Where someone said they “wanted to fall asleep”, there was a need to make that real; to not enable them to use language to hide the reality and consequences of what they wanted to do. As this resource states, when working with people considering suicide, “Use clear, direct terms, not euphemisms for suicide”.
In the same way, the current language surrounding the spectrum of pornographies (especially within Christian conversations) does not use language which discourages people from accessing explicit material; it does not use language which leaves them unable to justify, minimise or rationalise their behaviour and choices.
Though some men are viewing images and videos of gay men, or men performing gay sex acts, the vast majority of men are viewing images of women and “teenage” girls. Yes some women do view pornographic content, but not to the same degree. Images of children being sexually abused are often referred to within the media as “child pornography”. This term is reprehensible as it hides the perpetration and crime of child sexual abuse. At some point, I may write a separate piece about this, but for clarity, it is not part of this piece.
So without further ado, may I present the DE-EUPHEMISM-ISER.
(Many of the phrases listed come from Christian websites about pornographies)
Using porn; Struggling with porn; Battled with porn; Watch porn; Sin online; Lustful indulgence; The consumption of porn; Involved in porn; Illicit sexual behavior they’re engaged in; Struggling with sexual brokenness, woundedness, addiction or dysfunction; Various forms of sexual bondage and brokenness.
ALL THE ABOVE TRANSLATE AS: Masturbating until ejaculation while choosing to watch images of women being degraded, objectified and punish.
Choosing to watch images of women being degraded, objectified and punished, while masturbating until I ejaculated, provided me with with a sense of security…
All of my stress and worries could be solved by clicking on images of women being degraded, objectified and punished while I masturbated until I ejaculated.
The temptation of choosing to masturbate until ejaculation while watching images and videos of women being degraded, sexually humiliated and dehumanised.
Images and videos of women being degraded, objectified, penetrated (usually by multiple men), ejaculated on and generally used by men, that are then posted online to enable a small number of very rich men to get richer.
Degrading and violating sexual scenarios created with real people whose lives are being destroyed in the process of being turned into a product for (mainly) men to masturbate while watching, until they ejaculate.
Watching images of women being degraded, objectified and punished, while masturbating until ejaculating ruins lives.
Rich (mainly) white men are producing images and videos of women being degraded, violated and dehumanised, in order to sell them to (mainly) men to watch while masturbating, in order to get even richer. In the process the women/girls and (to a lesser degree) men who are often manipulated into being filmed are being destroyed. When (mainly) men are masturbating while watching images of women being sexually degraded and abused they are losing their humanity as the dehumanise the people in the images and videos they are watching. This is evil.
The lives of women and girls who are being objectified, degraded and humiliated are being destroyed. But we’re not actually talking about the people most damaged by an industry designed to make rich men even richer. We’re talking about the people who then watch the images and videos of people being degraded and violated to masturbate until ejaculating. We are more interested in their souls being defiled than we are in the actual people whose actual lives are being decimated.
Someone choosing to stop degrading, objectifying and dehumanising women and girls through watching images and videos of them being sexually violated so that they can masturbate until ejaculation.
The majority of young people in the UK are learning about sex from watching images of women (and girls) being objectified, degraded and dehumanised. They are learning that during sexual contact boys (and men) should be violent, aggressive, have enormous penises and should never be kind or gentle towards the girl (or woman) they are having sex with. Girls are learning that they should be penetrated without any affection, love or care. That they should be hairless and that they should want to end sex by having their face ejaculated on. These images are also encouraging girls and boys to see having multiple boys/men penetrating one girl at one time as normal and desirable. Sexual intimacy has become an alien concept due to this.
I was compulsively looking at images and videos of women being objected, degraded and humiliated. Masturbating until ejaculating while watching those images changed the way my brain worked so I felt I had to continuing watching images of women being sexually violated. I chose to act upon those compulsions. Jesus helped me to choose to no longer act on them.
Men are hard wired to like watching porn; Men are visual creatures; The thing women do no seem to fully grasp is that the temptation towards lust does not stop; it is continual; it is aggressive; it does all it can to lead men down to death.
ALL OF THE ABOVE TRANSLATES AS:
I am going to use bad science to justify why men can’t help but degrade, objectify and sexualise women (and girls). Even though much research has shown that the brain is not hard wired and that humans have neuro-plasticity (the connections in the brain change depending on our environment and experiences) I am going to continue to perpetuate the myth that the free will (which we hold so dearly as core aspects of the Christian faith) fails at the sight of a woman’s ankles, skin, “toe cleavage”, leggings etc. Because men are not capable of choosing to see women as human beings and cannot treat them with respect unless they adhere to a strict dress and behaviour code which avoids every possible sexual desire a man might have.
The clothing and behaviour choices women make are at least 50% responsible for men choosing to find a private space, open a web browser, search for videos and images of women (and girls) being sexually degraded, violated and penetrated, and then masturbating until ejaculation while dehumanising the women in the videos and photos.
Choosing to objectify, degrade and dehumanise women is evidence of our need to experience the presence of God intensely.
Fathers! Make sure you start early in telling your daughters that it’s their job to stop men choosing to objectify, dehumanise, sexualise and masturbate while watching images of women (and girls) being degraded and sexually humiliated.